


How to Slay a Dragon (with a bog unicorn)

by Shadow_Chaser



Series: Tales of the Bog Unicorn [5]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bog Unicorn shenanigans, Bog Unicorn: Dragon Slayer, But I wish it happened like this, Gen, I love the bog unicorn, This is not really how the Ferelden Frostback was killed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 04:04:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2718140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_Chaser/pseuds/Shadow_Chaser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tales of the Bog Unicorn V - Dragon Slaying 101: Use a Bog Unicorn</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Slay a Dragon (with a bog unicorn)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Legume_Shadow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legume_Shadow/gifts).



> Author's Notes:
> 
> Bog Unicorn. Nuff said. Also, human female mage – aka Lady Trevelyan. Yes, she has a first name, no I am not using her first name. She can be your Lady Trevelyan or mine. She's also romancing Cullen at this point, but it's a really slow burn of a pairing (aka, they're both a bit oblivious).
> 
> Fair Warning: Major spoilers for picking a side in the Mage-Templar War (post-In Your Heart Shall Burn questline) and onwards. You have been warned.

DAI: How to Slay a Dragon (with a bog unicorn)

by: Shadow Chaser

 

**Story:**

 

_How to Kill a Dragon with a Bog Unicorn:_

Step 1 – Stab dragon through soft palate under jaw

Step 2 – Chop head off, preferably with Knight Enchanter sword

Step 3 – ...Profit?

* * *

“Varric! This is the last time I'm listening to one of your contacts!” Trevelyan shouted as she clung onto a rock, squinting through the haze of dust and debris the Ferelden Frostback was kicking up with her powerful wings.

“How the hell should I have known that the red lyrium was right _next_ to a dragon's nest?! The guy only-” Varric choke a little as the dust became blinding, “for Andraste's flaming sword...” Through the haze of the dust and debris, Trevelyan thought she saw Varric let go of the rock he was clinging onto and turn, flying through the air at the same time firing several arrows from his crossbow.

The dragon roared and stopped flapping its wings as she turned her serpentine horned head, trying to pinpoint Varric, before Iron Bull's wild excited war cry announced his arrival. Trevelyan saw the Qunari leap from a ledge, giant broadsword gleaming in the air and slice at the dragon, scoring sparks on her armor before the dragon roared again, annoyed. But his blow did its job as she turned to search for the newest annoying prey and Trevelyan gulped down a breath, ducking haphazardly under the swing of its powerful wings and tail.

“Hah! Hah!” Vivienne's voice calling the dragon's attention from somewhere in the dragon's front was heralded by the sudden flash of light as the Knight Enchanter led the attack with Iron Bull.

Trevelyan pushed herself to her feet, her had gripping tight on the staff she carried with her. It was supposed to be a simple mission; one of Varric's contacts in Redcliffe had spied red lyrium deposits somewhere beyond the Rebel Queen's Ravine. She offered to accompany the dwarf to destroy it and Iron Bull volunteered mostly to ensure that if they were waylaid on their trek there, there would be some extra muscle. He had been a little more than bored in recent days that his second-in-command Krem had 'volunteered' his boss as a suggestion to bring him along.

Trevelyan had also thought it a great opportunity to also bring along Vivienne, hoping to at least get to know the senior mage better. She also secretly hoped that the short trek from Skyhold to the Hinterlands would at least make Vivienne more amiable to Soggy's presence instead of ignoring the bog unicorn for the most part. She had seen Soggy look sad and disappointed each time Vivienne was nearby and did not even acknowledge him.

There was the sudden movement out of the corner of her eye and she only had enough time to call out, “Soggy! No!” as her the bog unicorn raced past her, posture and gait set and angry as he charged at the dragon. “No!” she called out again, but it was too late and she watched as if one of Dorian's haste spells seemingly slowed everything around her except for the bog unicorn.

“What-”

“Hey, boss-”

Vivienne and Iron Bull did not even finish what they were saying as the bog unicorn sunk its sharp bony teeth into one of the dragon's mandibles. Apparently it was the right spot as the beast roared and lifted its head up. Soggy tossed his head angrily and stamped the ground, lowering his head as if to charge forth with the sword through its head like a battering ram. Trevelyan tried to move through the murky mire that seemingly engulfed the area, oblivious to the sparking green glow of the Fade anchor in her hand, feeling some kind of oppressivness that tried to keep her back-

The Frostback's head suddenly dipped down as Soggy raced forward and she gasped as she saw the bog unicorn's horn stab deep into the soft jaw palate under the dragon's head-

And her bog unicorn suddenly lifted off the ground as the dragon opened her mouth and _roared_. Trevelyan thought her ears had been blasted to pieces as she staggered, stunned for a moment at the sheer _pain_ and agony the dragon had to be feeling. She blinked, confused for a second before shaking off the effects of the spell, her anger and fury rushing up as she rushed forward, the icy cool magick of the blurring step of not-quite-stepping into the Fade sending her straight towards the dragon. She blurred past her friends, noticing them still reeling in an unusual slow-motion disorientation of the stunning roar the dragon unleashed. But her only concern now was for Soggy.

“Let him go!” she shouted as she skidded to a stop by the dragon's head, glaring at its lone serpentine eye from the side. She could see Soggy's legs kicking in the air, her bog unicorn whinnying with some concern at what he had done to try to protect her. He was also trying to yank his horn from where it was wedged through the dragon's jaw, but did not seem to realize how to free itself while hanging in the air.

The dragon opened its mouth and Trevelyan _moved_ sliding through the not-quite-Fade, passing through where the sharp teeth and rough patches of skin on its jaw was, appearing just as suddenly on the other side, leaving a wake of icy chill. “Viv!” she shouted as she saw her friends recovering from their disoriented state and the Knight Enchanter reacted without thinking, throwing her, her glowing broadsword.

Trevelyan caught it, oblivious to its weight as she slashed downward at the dragon's exposed neck, having been caught off guard. “LET. GO. OF. MY. BOG. UNICORN!” she shouted with each stroke of the sword, the blood splattering on her, all over the ground. She ignored it as with the last heave of her waning strength, her arms not used to holding such a sword, she suddenly found herself slicing through the dragon's neck, blood spurting into the air as the beast suddenly collapsed to the ground with an earth shaking thump.

Trevelyan belatedly realized that the dragon was dead as she stared dumbly at the sight of its headless bleeding body, and Soggy half collapsed to the ground by the weight of the dragon's head. The sword dissolved from her hands as she blinked several times, oblivious to the blood, guts, and scorch marks of fire she was unable to duck away from, of what used to be the Ferelden Frostback covering her from head toe. Beyond her, Soggy was on his front knees, still vainly trying to pull himself from the dragon's soft palate, whickering in annoyance at the task as he was still wedged in.

“Boss...” Iron Bull sounded breathless and giddy as deafening silence reigned in the clearing, “that was so much fun...”

 

~END~


End file.
